Staying Alive
by AcidBlossom
Summary: An ongoing collection of Lams one shots.
1. Helpless

**When I first found out what Hamilton was like over a year ago I never would have thought I would like it at all, let alone love it and have an otp from it and actually write for it. So here's a collection of Lams one shots. Idk if I'll ever have a multi chapter ongoing story for this fandom, but this is project I plan on keeping up with for a while. I find writing for this pairing to be pretty easy and fun, so I'm gonna be cranking out a lot of these. Also I'll be taking requests for prompts starting sometime between late January or early March.**

 **Any explicitly NSFW content will be exclusive to AO3 and Tumblr.**

 **This first one** **may or may not be literally the only Hamilton fic I'll ever write that actually takes place in the canonical universe. Maybe I'll write more like this one but basically every idea I have as of now pertains to an AU of some kind so don't be surprised if that's the case.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

"Alexander, you're the closest friend I've got."

"Laurens…"

Alexander grabbed John by the hand. He quickly pulled him close towards him, leaving no space between their bodies, their faces just inches apart.

John's expression remained unchanged, at first. He was used to this kind of aggressive affection from Alexander. But then his gaze softened, as realization hit him.

They hadn't been in a position like this since the wedding.

John thought that this part of their relationship was over now that Eliza was in the picture. He didn't mind that; Alexander was happy with his wife, and there was a war to focus on right now. He thought they had both moved on.

Yet Alexander was still looking at him with a spark of desire. And that gaze made repressed feelings rise back to the surface in an instant.

The very next second, John found himself in a tight embrace. He found Alexander's mouth on his. He was being kissed more passionately, more lovingly than he ever thought possible, especially from someone who had just gotten married to someone else.

It was the kind of kiss that gets your heart pounding, makes you lightheaded, sends warmth through your entire body, turns your legs into jelly, keeps all your thoughts purely on the person kissing you. All of those things were happening to John right then, grabbing Alexander by the shoulders just to keep himself on his feet. He was rendered helpless as he struggled to keep his grip on him tight.

Alexander pulled away slowly. John looked into his eyes, agape. He bet he was blushing like an idiot right now, but if he was, it looked like Alexander didn't care.

He took one of his hands; his dominant hand, the hand that would hold the gun in the duel with Lee.

Alexander lightly kissed that hand.

Then he murmured, "Do not throw away your shot."


	2. Thunderstorm

**Here's Modern AU one. The weather is a dick and Alex gets anxiety. Enjoy.**

* * *

Thunder.

Just the sound of it makes him flinch, no matter where he is or who he's with.

But in the middle of the night, when it had just been quiet and he was asleep. Now he hears the thunder boom. He hears rain too. It's fast and heavy.

He sits up. It's pitch dark. He hears nothing but the storm outside. It seems to get louder and louder.

A flash of lightning floods the room. He flinches again.

He feels his heartbeat speed up.

He hates storms. He hates them more than he'll ever hate Burr or Jefferson. At least those two were part of his life in the present. Storms were his past; they bring back memories of the worst part of his life.

The hurricane.

Lightning lights up the room again. Everything he sees and hears at this moment, it's reminding him so much of those horrifying days of rain and flooding and chaos.

The hurricane.

Suddenly, he's seventeen again. He's on the island. His mother had been dead for five years yet the title "orphan" still sounded fresh. He was scrambling for money to get out of here and get an education, to become someone great. And then the hurricane came and destroyed all semblances of a chance for success.

The hurricane.

Another flash. Another boom. The rain is getting heavier.

The hurricane.

He can feel beads of sweat forming. He can feel himself trembling.

The hurricane.

It's getting harder to breathe. Was he drowning?

Was this how his life was going to end? As a penniless orphan in the middle of nowhere? Leaving the world in a state where not a single person would remember his name?

"Alexander?"

He heard John's voice.

And suddenly he was brought back down. He was far from calm, but he remembers he isn't where he thought he was.

The hurricane was in the past. He was far from there now; he'd been far from there years now. He was in his twenties. He was in America. He had his education. He managed to be someone great, at least in the eyes of John Laurens.

He was in bed, in his apartment. John was lying next to him. He was safe. _They_ were safe. Or were they? It was too dark, he couldn't tell.

"Alex, come here."

He lays down. He feels himself get pulled in an embrace. He feels John kiss his forehead and run a hand through his hair. He can hear his breathing and his heartbeat. He could hear his own heartbeat too. They were both alive. But were they really okay? Would they be okay through the rest of the night? What if the storm gets stronger? _What if the hurricane comes?_

He tries to speak. His voice comes out breaking. "John-"

John cut him off. "Shh, it's okay. Go to sleep."

It gets quiet after that. The rain is still falling and the thunder keeps rumbling, but he doesn't hear it anymore. John blocks it out with his warmth. With his touches. With his love.

The hurricane isn't coming. The storm begins to calm. Alexander finally sleeps.


	3. Warmth

**Some College AU fluff.**

 **These's are pretty short so far, but that's probably going to change sometime soon. Especially when some extra feels-y ones come along.**

* * *

"Alex, have you seen my sweater?"

No answer. Just the faint sound of rapid tapping on a keyboard.

John sighed; by now, he knew that when Alexander was working on anything, there was no point in trying to get his attention from another room.

He walked from the bedroom to the living room of their tiny apartment. On their cheap, very used couch was Alexander, typing away on his laptop. And on Alexander was a turtle green sweater. No other sweater in the world was exactly like it; it was custom made, a gift from Hercules.

John smiled to himself. He sat on the couch and sidled up close to him. " _Alexander_ ," he purred teasingly.

"What?"

"Why're you wearing my sweater?"

"I dunno, it was cold. I just grabbed whatever was on the bed." It was amazing how Alexander could talk a mile a minute in any other situation, yet when he was writing, he barely acknowledged the rest of the world.

Truth be told, it _was_ cold pretty cold. Especially considering they were keeping their heaters off to save on the electric bill. They were starving college kids; they didn't have much of a choice during this time of year.

John tried to snuggle up closer to his boyfriend to get some more warmth for himself, but it was impossible to do that when he was writing like this. He made do with what he could get and continued to watch him work.

"When's that due?" he asked him after several minutes of cold silence.

"Next Friday."

"So can it wait?"

"Well…Look, I just need to get this done."

"Alex," John put a hand on Alexander's, finally halting the continuous stream of words. "You have more than a week to finish this. And it's fucking freezing. Can't you just take a break so we can warm up a bit?

There was a beat of silence before Alexander finally ripped his violet eyes away from the screen and looked at him. "Starbucks?"

John grinned. He leaned forward so their foreheads were pressed together. "Now that's what I'm talkin' about."

"You want the sweater back?"

"Nah, I'll grab a jacket. Besides, I think it looks better on you."

"You really think I look good in green?"

"You look good in anything."

Alexander finally smiled back at him, pushing himself forward so their lips met. The kiss was short and chaste, but John found himself feeling much warmer instantly.

When they pulled apart, he looked into his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "You get one more page and then we're out the door."

Alexander made a sound of relief as he faced the screen again and his hands darted back onto the keys. John rested his head on his shoulder, watching silently as the words spread like a blaze on the screen.


	4. Christmas Eve

Modern AU on Christmas Eve!

* * *

"Am I the only one in this country that hates Charlie Brown?"

John turned to his boyfriend with a look of disbelief. " _What_?"

"I mean, look at this," Alexander pointed to the television as Charlie Brown and Linus wandered through the grove of artificial Christmas trees. "This music, these characters, this fucking _pointless_ plot. Everything about this is a huge downer. How can anybody stand to watch this year after year?"

"Well, it's not like little kids are gonna realize this is depressing as shit," John chuckled. "And by the time they do, they're just watching for nostalgia."

Alexander sighed. "Well, I guess that explains why I can't get into this. I didn't exactly have a chance to watch this as a kid."

They both went quiet then. Alexander glanced at his boyfriend. There was something forlorn about the look on his face.

"Shit. I'm sorry," Alexander said, resisting the urge to slap himself in the face. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm not trying to guilt trip you or-"

"I know, babe, I know," John pecked him softly on the cheek. His expression remained unchanged, however. "Are you okay?"

"It's Christmas. Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"I dunno, you've been a little quieter these last few days. I don't like seeing you like this, especially not now. What's bugging you?"

Alex prepared to deny that he was a bit more melancholic as of late, but he hesitated before he got the words out. He decided to may as well be honest about it. He sighed and looked John in the eye. "Okay, it's just…this is gonna be your first Christmas without your family and-"

Although they had been a couple for years now, it was only this past February that John came out to his conservative father. It was the last time he had been allowed to come into any sort of contact with his racist, homophobic family.

"Oh, Alex, please don't worry about that. I'm not gonna miss them at all, I swear."

"I know, but-"

"And you know what?" John grinned, bringing his face closer to Alexander's. "At least this will be the first Christmas I can spend with you."

Alexander couldn't help but smile then. "Yeah, that's definitely something to look forward to."

They shared a long, loving kiss. When they pulled apart, John was clearly stifling giggles.

"What is it?"

"Your mouth tastes like peppermint."

Alex smirked. "Well, have some more." He leaned forward and kissed him again. And again. And again.

Soon they were making out without restraint, with Alexander lying on the couch and John right on top of him, their mouths and tongues moving nonstop as they held each other tightly. By the time they finished, Charlie Brown had already ended and a commercial for some brand of cookie dough was playing. They were both getting sleepy, their faces as red as holly berries.

John rested his head on his boyfriend's chest. "You're so warm."

"So are you," Alexander nuzzled against his soft curls and planted a kiss there. "I love you, John."

"I love you too. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas."


	5. 5 AM

**Modern/College/whatever AU. Alex wakes up at 5 AM with the need to work. But it looks like he forgot something rather important.**

 **i forgot to post this when i was supposed to so here it is now**

* * *

Five in the morning.

Alexander felt the spark go off.

The spark. That little thing in the back of his mind that told him that he needed to be working right then.

He couldn't remember exactly when it came about; he estimated it developed early on in high school. That was when there was no guarantee for anything beyond graduating. He worked ten times harder than any of his peers in order to get his hands on every scholarship, grant possible, so he could go even further. Now he was halfway done with his BA, majoring in political science and minoring in history, and even still, the spark hadn't gone away. It had become an instinct to be working at all times.

It had been dormant through most of the winter break, allowing him to focus his time on his boyfriend and friends. But now the break was nearly over; Christmas, New Years, Three Kings, any reason he had to take it easy was gone. As far as he knew, he didn't any more obligations keeping him down.

Now, he couldn't go back to sleep; he needed to be working.

The semester didn't start for another week, but he needed to be working.

Most of the textbooks had already arrived from Amazon. They were packed securely in their boxes, waiting to be cracked open and read from cover to cover. Alex had a habit of going through entire textbooks in a week, if not less, and absorbing every last fact. Because of this, he never had to bother with assigned reading, allowing more time to focus on bigger assignments and personal matters.

 _He needed to be working._

He didn't want John to wake up alone, so he decided to just take a little bit of time to do something. He'd just take an hour or two; then he'd come back to bed and attempt to relax for the sake of the one he loved. He wasn't sure what would happen after that, but it was a suitable plan for now.

He began to slip out of bed.

* * *

He barely even moved an inch before John abruptly held him from behind..

Alexander was confused and slightly concerned. John was an early bird, but during school breaks, he usually woke up around seven. Right then, it was only three minutes past five. He wouldn't wake up this early unless there was an emergency of some kind.

Then Alex felt him nuzzle against the back of his neck and sleepily purr, "Where're you going, birthday boy?"

 _Oh, shit_. Alexander tensed up.

Today was the eleventh, wasn't it?

His mind had been so wrapped up in the compulsion, in the need to be working, he had forgotten about everything they had planned. They were going to be meeting up with Herc and Laf at IHOP for a birthday brunch at noon, and that night they would be celebrating with their other friends at Angelica's place. Until then, there was nothing to do but relax.

 _This_ was the last day he could take it easy, before he could put everything else aside and concentrate on work.

Yet his mind was saying otherwise. It was already ready to work. It was ready to seek words and process them and do things with them. It couldn't be stuck in this bed any longer.

He wasn't sure what to do. It was his day, he could do whatever he wanted until lunchtime. He wanted to stay in bed with his boyfriend, but he needed to be working. The indecisiveness was stirring up anxiousness, and he began to tremble a little.

Then John spoke again, "Babe, look at me." He sounded more awake now, more alert of what was going on inside of Alexander.

Alex turned around and looked into his boyfriend's eyes, at least as best he could in the dark room. Just looking at him sent a wave of calm over him in an instant.

John lightly pressed his forehead against Alex's. "You only have one thing you gotta do today, and that's enjoying yourself. Okay?"

Alex croaked out, "Okay."

John pecked him on the lips and held him tighter.

Alex fidgeted a bit before burying his face in the crook of his neck and shutting his eyes.

And then the spark was gone.

John and Alexander slept until the sun shone its brightest.

* * *

 **idk when i'm gonna write another thing for this**


	6. It Takes Work

**hi everybody it's been almost a year since i updated this so here's a little thing that took three months to write**

* * *

John was exhausted.

He was up all night worrying about Alex. He had a massive panic and had to stay at the apartment for today, being in no condition to come to class. Of course, not being able to go to class only stressed him out even more, which led to some chaos in the morning. John managed to get Alex to calm down, but it took long enough to make him late to his 8 AM History class. Thankfully, Professor Washington understood the circumstances and let it slide, but John still ended up feeling like shit all morning.

In the early afternoon, he had his shift working at the campus bookstore. It was going easy for the most part, with only a few students coming to buy things. Right after his shift ended, he would be able to go back to the apartment and see Alexander and hopefully end the day on a good note.

And then came his least favorite customer, Thomas Jefferson.

John suppressed a groan when he saw that magenta coat in the corner of his eye. This guy was responsible for about twenty-five percent of Alex's stress as of late, and he was just an all-around bother to the rest of their friend group. He was genuinely smart and could be nice at times, so they didn't honestly hate him, but they didn't like him either.

Thankfully, his visit here was short. He approached the counter with a packet of scantron sheets and a bottle of water. He slid a twenty-dollar bill to John.

"You're looking kind of rough today, Laurens," he teased. "What's going on with you?"

John didn't look at him, focusing on getting the transaction done as quickly as possible. "Nothing, just Alex stuff."

"It's always _Alex stuff_ , isn't it?" Thomas shook his head condescendingly, accepting his change. "You know you can leave at any time, right? Take a break, maybe find someone else that won't drain you of every last drop of energy you have?"

John glared at him. "He doesn't completely drain me, Thomas. It just gets tiring sometimes, but it's fine. It's _work_ , and relationships take _work_." He hastily finished processing the payment and put the packet and water in a plastic bag. _I wonder how much work it takes James to keep dating this guy_ , he thought, but kept that little comment to himself.

"Seems like it's a little more work than it has to be."

"Just stop, Thomas. I know you don't care about what we go through; you just like to fuck with us."

Thomas chuckled, taking the bag and strolling out with his head held high.

John rubbed his temples. His shift lasted ten more minutes, and the store remained empty for the remainder of that time. During that time, he gave some serious thought about how _wrong_ Thomas was about this. John got tired and stressed sometimes, but he was never totally drained. He could still get his school work done, have a job, and maintain close friendships all while still making Alex his top priority. He had the determination to not give up on him, and he had no plans on abandoning him.

He clocked out and left the store the second his shift ended. He walked from the campus to the apartment building, thinking about his boyfriend every step of the way. It was not unusual for him to be on his mind and in his heart every second of every day, but now he was thinking about him even more, thanks to the fact that he hadn't seen him since that morning.

He felt quite a bit of nervousness as he arrived to the door of the apartment.

He was on the couch, reading a book. And it wasn't one he needed for school. John smiled; it had been months since the last time Alex had read casually.

Quietly, John walked up to the couch and sat next to his boyfriend. He didn't say anything; he knew he didn't need to. He gently rested his head on his shoulder, silently reading the words with him.

"Is this any good?" he asked.

"It's okay," Alex replied. "The author has good ideas, but the writing style is too simple for my tastes."

John laughed and kissed him on the cheek. "You're so extra, babe."

Alex smirked at him, folding the corner of the page and shutting the book. "You say that as if I'm the only one."

In an instant, they were in each other's arms as they lay on the couch, holding each other close and peppering kisses all over each other's faces. John felt Alex's warmth all over his body, and it was the most reassuring feeling he could ever imagine.

Relationships take work. Relationships are tiring sometimes. But even just moments like these make even the most strenuous struggles worth it.

* * *

 **I'm not even like half as into Hamilton as I used to be. I still love it, I've just been more into other things. Great Comet is my current favorite musical (I have a fic for it that's AO3 exclusive), and even then as of late I've 100% devoted my fandom life to Danganronpa and Camp Camp. So consider any updates to this collection a rare treat.**


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